No Regrets
by PinkCamellia
Summary: Rin has been doing some thinking. . . Slight spoiler for episode 14. [Very minor ShirouRin]


Hi all! This is my first _Fate Stay Night_ story, and I did the best I could with it. I know the plot is weak, and the characterization is off. I fully expect to be criticized on those topics.

I also know that _Fate Stay Night_ is a relatively new anime, and that there probably aren't very many stories out and not very many readers/writers out there, but if I could have some feed back, I'd really appreciate it!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Fate Stay Night_. It's just an anime that I watch and really like. :D

**Warning**: Slight spoiler for episode 14.

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**No Regrets**

**By: **

**Tohsaka-Rin91**

---

_"Tohsaka! Tohsaka, wait!" Emiya yelled, swaying slightly while trying to concentrate on running and keeping Saber moving at the same time. It was not an easy task._

_Rin stopped running._

_"Tohsaka . . . " _

_Her hand twitched and Rin felt her connection with Archer dim significantly. She held her hand out in front of her face. With the swish of a crow's feather, the blink of an eye, her last spell mark vanished without a trace._

_It was like it had never existed._

_"Don't tell me . . . " Emiya muttered in disbelief._

_"Ilyasviel will come right after us." Her voice was small and emotionless, her bangs shadowed her eyes. _

_"Let's hurry."_

_"Hey!" Emiya said to her turned back._

_"Hurry! I won't forgive you if we end up getting killed by them." Her fist tightened, her voice cracked slightly._

_The soft padding of their steps against the ground were the only sounds heard._

---

Over the next few days, Emiya had apologized over and over again for what had happened. Each time, Rin had merely flicked him off with the wave of her hand and excused herself to her room. She didn't know what to say to him, so she always walked away.

She needed to think about what had happened, and how she felt.

Her emotions were strange, they were like a big puzzle, complex, broken and mixed up. She was unclear about what she was feeling, and there were questions. So many questions.

Why?

It was such a simple question, wasn't it? Basic, and yet with so many ponderings and so many unknown answers.

Why had she let Archer stay and fight Berserker alone?

Rin knew that out of all the servants, Berserker was the strongest. Berserker was _Heracles_. She knew that in order for him to be summoned, his master had to be strong, stronger than her.

Wasn't that why she had paired up with Emiya?

She knew that in order to defeat him, it would have required _both_ Archer and Saber to bring him down.

Shirou was trustworthy. He would never betray her, she knew that.

She had needed help.

She needed strength, a second opinion, someone to be _there_.

She had needed _him_.

Saber had been badly injured from using her Noble Phantasm to defeat Rider, so she knew that them working together to bring down Bersker wouldn't have been happening anytime soon.

Why?

Why had she sacrificed her servant for Emiya?

He was barely even a Master! He believed that if he suffered enough for everyone, no one would have to suffer except for him.

He was an idiot.

She had given up her _only_ chance at the Holy Grail War for him.

She had worked her whole life for the oppotunity! Hadn't she trained, studied and practiced for hours and hours on end?

She could have won.

She _would_ have won.

But now she could not.

She had lost her opportunity, because of him.

Emiya Shirou.

He had a good soul, a good heart.

The Holy Grail War was about murder, about hurting others for your own gain. It was about doing what needed to be done to win.

You had to be selfish, you had to hurt others, you even had to be a little evil.

That was not a quality Emiya Shirou possessed.

He was kind and sweet. He didn't like it when others got hurt and did everything he could to prevent that from happening.

He had some magical talent, but not very much.

He shouldn't have been part of the war.

But he was.

She knew she envied him, just a little. He was, after all, inexperienced, knew next-to-nothing about magic, and yet still had a shot at the grand prize. Granted, she knew he had been lucky, but he had the opportunity. He had a chance. She did not.

She knew she was upset. She had wanted to win, hadn't she?

She wanted him to win too.

She was envious and upset. That's all she was sure she was feeling, along with confusion.

Yes, Tohsaka Rin was confused.

Because while she felt those things, there were a few emotions that she thought she was feeling, that she knew she wasn't.

While she was upset and confused, she was not angry, she was not resentful and she did _not_ regret anything.

She was not angry about the fact that she had went out of her way to help Saber. She was not angry that she had left Archer to take on Berserker.

Rin wished that she had had another option, but if she could do it all over again, she wouldn't have done anything different.

She would not have changed anything because it was Emiya who was always sacrificing things for other people, it was always Emiya who did nice things for others.

Although she would never say it out loud, Rin felt good doing something nice for him.

---

A few hours later, hunger drove Rin from her bedroom, and she was startled to see Emiya sitting right outside the door, waiting for her.

"Emiya-kun!" She said, her surprise evident on her face. "Have you been waiting for me all these hours?"

Emiya chose to ignore her question.

"Tohsaka, I - I'm really sorry about what happened to Archer. I really didn't mean to walk into Ilya's trap, I-" He was so sincere, Rin was taken aback.

It took a few seconds for her to regain her composure.

Rin waved him off with her hand again, but instead of walking away like she normally would have, she faced him, her jade eyes staring directly into Emiya's. She shrugged, and tossed some of her dark hair over her shoulders.

Emiya seemed confused by the action.

"It's okay, Shirou," She told him, "Don't worry about it. I know it wasn't your intention."

She managed a weak smile.

He looked bewildered. Rin realised that this was probably the first time that she had ever really said anything nice to him, and it was most likely the first time he had seen her smile.

She began walking towards the kitchen.

She called to him over her shoulder,

"I'm not angry, and I don't regret anything."

She knew that Emiya must have thought of her as odd, but it didn't matter.

She regretted nothing.

---

Sorry about the OOC-ness. :(

Once again, I know it was not very good, but please let me know what you thought!


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